


When Words Fail

by SassyFanGirl



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, First Kiss, First Meetings, First Time, Friendship/Love, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Origin Story, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-15
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-02-15 08:07:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13026816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SassyFanGirl/pseuds/SassyFanGirl
Summary: Dan and Phil finally meet. Phil finds something out about Dan... Actually a few things...





	1. Night Before

**Author's Note:**

> Still pretty new to the Phandom, so any comments are appreciated. I try to get as close to in-character as possible. PLease let me know how you like!

_Dan's POV_

Dan lay in his bed unable to sleep once again; anticipation keeping him awake. He was finally going to be able to meet Phil. He couldn’t help himself from smiling. He rolled over onto his side and thought about all the things that could happen. What would be said, what would be done. His stomach flipped at the possibilities. They were not exactly strangers, having talked for months even on Skype. But there was still that nervous energy of actually meeting someone. Putting a human form to an internet name. His parents weren’t exactly thrilled with him “wasting” his money on tickets to see some random guy off the net, but Dan didn’t care. His parents weren’t exactly supportive of the internet-as a-living thing. Rather, they continually advise him on “real” livings. Lawyer being their favorite at the moment. 

 

Dan rolled over onto his back with a heavy sigh. He hated the idea of doing paperwork and court cases studies. It wasn’t that he couldn’t handle it, necessarily. He just didn’t want to. He couldn’t think of a quicker path to suicide than working in a law firm. With that thought Dan’s mind suddenly went quiet. He hadn’t thought like that is a while. He was actually proud of himself. For so long he wondered what would happen if he were to just disappear. Lately, though, he’s been thinking about what the future could hold. He hasn’t gotten very big on the internet quite yet, but what little he had he was proud of. 

 

Dan started to bite at his lip, slightly chapped with the colder weather coming in. Suddenly he was filled with nerves. What if Phil found out… Well actually, there wasn’t much that Phil doesn’t know. They’ve shared so much over AIM/Skype that he couldn't remember what all he had told him or not. Dan sat up slightly and uncovered his legs, looking at the scarring that was left behind from months ago. He can’t even remember the reasoning for them any longer. Probably an argument with his parents. Dan ran his fingers over the lines, they weren’t raised any longer, and they were starting to fade. He felt a strange mixture of pride and sadness. Proud that he wasn’t tempted to reopen anything, but sad that they were fading. It was a strange emotion. 

 

Dan laid back down and covered back up, pulling the blankets up to his chin and rolling on his side once more. Phil would never see them, so there’s no fear of that. He drifted off to sleep with the thoughts of black hair and blue eyes.


	2. Train Station

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil waits for Dan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really inspired right now... Might pump out another chapter or two tonight.

_Phil’s POV_

 

Phil stood in the train station for almost an hour now. He knew it was too early, but he had so much energy he couldn’t wait at the house any longer. With his parents away, he finally got to meet Dan! They would never approve of meeting someone off the internet. They knew a little about what he did, but they didn’t take it very seriously, thinking of it more like a hobby. 

 

There were plenty of seat open for him to sit, but with all his energy he opted to stand instead. Pacing a little and pulling his sleeves over his knuckles to pull at the hem. He was used to people making comments about the amount of energy he always seemed to have. He couldn’t help it! His teachers would constantly tell his parents that he should be medicated, but his parents never accepted that. They once told one teacher that if their material wasn’t challenging enough maybe they should consider actually teaching. 

 

He blushed slightly at the memory. His parents were the best. As awesome as they were, they still wouldn’t be ok with him meeting someone off the internet. Especially a boy. Especially a boy 5 years younger than him. He was open with his parent about his sexuality. Bringing both girls and boys home. Whether or not they think it’s a fade didn’t matter. They greeted them all the same way. Maybe in a while they could meet Dan. The thought made him smile. He shook his head to himself. He was getting way too far ahead. They were friends. Friends that did a lot online, but friends only. 

 

They had never really talked about labels for them or anything. Phil knew how hesitant Dan was about certain things. Dan’s family could be pretty tough. Phil’s stomach flipped thinking about Dan fighting with his family. He knew it tore him up inside. Even though he’d yell and curse, Phil knew that Dan was saddened by his family and their expectations. Phil looked at his phone to see the time. Dan should be in any minute now. Phil checked his fringe to make sure it was the perfect emo look he was going for. 

 

Finally his phone buzzed. He looked down just as a train pulled in. _pulling in now. r u here?_ Phil tried to hide his smile as his heart rate sped up. His fingers were shaking as he quickly typed. _Right outside the train. You’ll see me._ Phil looked up as the doors opened and as the people exited the train. Phil was pretty tall so he knew he could see over most people. He just had to find that right shade of brown. 

 

Finally, there he was. Dan. This time, Phil didn’t stop his wide smile as they made eye contact. He could tell Dan was nervous. Trying to get around people who were not moving. Dan kept looking at the ground as he walked up to Phil. Phil immediately stretched out his arms inviting Dan into an embrace. Dan put his suitcase down and accepted the hug. 

 

“You’re finally here!” Phil exclaimed.

 

“Finally is right.” I thought that trip would never end.” Dan said with mild irritation. 

 

They stood apart and Phil offered to carry Dan’s case, but Dan was already holding it. They walked together and talked about the annoyances of travel. Both were too nervous to talk about what their plans were going to be for their first meeting.


	3. Taxi Ride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One long ride, two awkward people, one flirty comment...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter should get pretty interesting... Hope you look forward to it!

In the taxi, Phil sat next to Dan searching his mind for something to talk about. It was so strange, to actually have him there. So close he could touch him. Phil stoke a glance over at Dan who was looking out the window, lost in the scenic drive. Phil gazed over his small frame, tan and slim, freckles spotted around in random places. Phil was lost in his admiration as Dan turned and smiled, forcing his dimples to come out. Phil smiled to himself before realizing Dan was looking back. Suddenly Phil coughed and turned his head, bringing a hand up the hide his face in the disguise of scratching a phantom itch. 

Dan laughed softly to himself in slight embarrassment. He bit at his lip as he lowered his head to look at himself. What was it that made Phil stare like that? His baggy jeans were hardly attractive and his hoodie has signs of overuse. Dan reached up to fix his hair. That must be it, his hair looks a mess and that’s why Phil was staring. As Dan paws at his fringe, he peeks over at Phil who is now leaning his forehead against the window. His perfect hair has fallen in front o his face so Dan couldn’t see the look of frustrating embarrassment that was spread across the face of his internet friend. 

Dan crossed his arms across him to cover himself and he leaned his head back and thought over how they got here. All the videos commented on, all the photos liked, all the skype calls. Dan smiles to himself, remembering some of the more interesting skype calls. As the taxi slows to take a turn, both boys look up to see where they are. Phil, of course, knows exactly how much further they have. Dan is completely clueless, but looks on anyway, trying to memorize everything about the town that raised Phil. 

“Almost there then, Dan.” Phil said, in an excited voice. Trying desperately to strike up a conversation that’s not awkward. “Are you ready to be done traveling for a while?” Phil looked over at the younger boy in time to see him lean back with a delighted sigh. It took Phil’s breath away and he looked on as Dan turned to him and smile. 

“You have no idea.” Dan said softly, accentuating every word as he held eye contact. Dan smiled slightly as he and Phil shared a longing stare. 

Too much time had passed, Phil knew. He had to think of something, but with Dan’s perfect brown eyes staring at him he couldn’t think of anything but getting him in a dark room… Phil fought against his own thoughts. “Looking forward to…” Phil was flustered and he knew that Dan could tell by the smirk he was wearing. “Beating me at video games?” Phil finally spat out. Forcing him to sit up a bit and look away from Dan. 

Dan also readjusted himself and turned more to the left to look at Phil more head on. It was fun to see Phil get flustered. He wanted to see just how far Dan could push him. Dan thought about his response, softly laughing. “Oh I’d love to do whatever you want, Phil.” Dan said laughing. “I am yours for the week.” He said looking out the window, forcing himself to say things he would never say to anyone else. Before he lost his confidence he finished his thought process, knowing exactly what would push Phil’s buttons. “To do with as you please.” He said, comically, half joking half flirting. He turned to look back at Phil who had turned away from Dan to look out his own window, now biting at his finger nail. Dan looked down at his feet ashamed. Had he done something wrong? 

“Or… you know…” Dan started backtracking, just as Phil knew he would. “Whatever you people up north do.” Dan said, barely above a whisper. Phil knew that Dan didn’t mean anything by his previous statement, but it kept ringing in his ears. _To do with as you please._

Dan had no idea how much Phil longed to grab the younger boy and plant one on him. But he knew better. He knew that Dan wasn’t ready for anything like that. He knew about his family, and his negative views on things. He looked away from Dan to hide his lust filled eyes. His heart rate had sped up and a heat started to pool in Phil’s stomach and the words Dan had said. _To do with as you please_. Dan had no idea just what would please Phil…

 

Dan had many times ranted, yelled, and cried to Phil about his family and school. Everyone making fun of him, or calling him names. His family trying to dictate everything about his personality, relations, and future. Phil hated everything about the situation. Hated being so far away, hated seeing Dan so upset, hated not being able to defend Dan, hated not being able to support Dan in his feelings. Dan had no idea what he was, if he were to be honest. Everything and everyone around him screamed what he _should_ be. But he couldn’t help but feel a certain way about certain people. It made him confused, frustrated, and sad. He just wanted to be as confident as Phil. Phil knew what he was and what he liked. If he wanted it, he got it. Why couldn’t Dan be the same way? 

Phil thought fondly about one skype conversation. Dan was home alone, as usual, and had snuck into his mom’s stash of alcohol. They talked and flirted. Phil had never thought that Dan would open up so much. They had talked for almost 5 hours. Dan was lost in Phil. Everything about him. They got on the topic of sexuality when Phil mentioned someone he had dated named Casey. Casey was one of those names you couldn’t tell was a guy or girl and it struck Dan’s curiosity, so Dan asked. It had been a girl. Dan’s stomach had flipped. Phil just gazed at the screen wondering what was going through Dan’s mind. Dan continued to ask about what Phil was and what he liked and Phil answered everything with explanations. Phil liked everyone, finding pleasure in both guys and girls. Phil had tried to ask Dan, but Dan refused to answer. The flirtatious air was gone, and Phil didn’t know what to do or how to get it back. He could tell that Dan was fighting with himself over his sexuality and knew he wasn’t helping the situation. He wanted to help and offered to talk to Dan about it, but that just made Dan more upset. The call ended abruptly after that with Dan in tears. Phil felt awful that night and couldn’t sleep. Neither could Dan. 

Phil replayed that night in his head. It had been a while ago, and the next day Dan had pretended like nothing happened. They never spoke about it again. But Phil didn’t know what to do when Dan said something a bit too flirtatious. Usually he just aimed the conversation in a different way. Dan had noticed, but never said anything about it. He knew that Phil was doing his best. 

Phil knew they were only a couple minutes away from his house now. Awkward tension still in the  air. He had to fix it somehow. He looked over at Dan who was nervously picking at the threading of his hoodie sleeve. Phil took a deep breath in for courage and reached out and placed a hand over Dan’s, stopping his motions. Dan closed his eyes as his stomach flipped at the touch. “You’re going to have a great time.” Phil said, so quiet that the taxi driver couldn’t hear. “I’ll make sure of it.” Phil said, squeezing Dan’s limp hand and removing just as Dan looked up to meet his eye. “And in about ten seconds,” Phil said louder, “You’ll be one step closer to relaxation time!” Phil said pointing out the window as the taxi driver slowed to a stop. 

Phil settled with the driver and carried Dan’s belongings up to his house. Dan looked up at Phil’s place in awe. It looked so normal. Dan’s heart ached as Phil turned and smiled at him, raising his eyebrows in excitement. “Come on then, silly.” Phil called over his shoulder as he pushed the door open. Dan smiled and followed in behind Phil.


	4. Popcorn?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan tried flirting to cover up his insecurities, can Phil read through him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh this is moving slower than I though! I'm trying my best over here, let me know if you like it!

Dan followed behind Phil awkwardly. Phil was giving him the grand tour while Dan was making snarky comments about how creepy the house was. With every comment Phil just laughed. He felt slightly embarrassed but also enjoyed seeing Dan smile. Phil looked over his shoulder at the younger boy, caught mid laughter. Catching his eye, Dan brought his hand up to cover his face slightly. Phil couldn’t help but smile. He was here. They had been talking for so long that it seemed unreal. 

Phil had to force himself to look away from Dan. Dan was still feeling insecure about everything. He covered his mouth to stifle the noise, he hated his voice. After Phil looked away Dan started working on fixing his hair. Running his fingers through his hair and trying to perfect that emo look. He kept walking behind Phil, careful to not touch anything for fear of messing something up. Phil was waffling about something but Dan couldn’t focus, he had stopped to look at some pictures hanging in the hallway. Phil was almost in a different room before he realized he couldn’t hear anyone behind him. 

Phil looked behind him and saw what Dan was looking at. It was a posed portrait of Himself, his brother, and his parents. They were all color coordinated and laughing at something, he couldn’t remember what at. It was one of his favorite photos of his family to date. They were all just so happy. Before the stresses of real life hit. Before the anxiety, before the bullies, before… life. Phil walked up slowly, joining Dan. Dan didn’t notice, he was lost in thought. So often he turned to his computer to give him an escape from his life. His life had never been so pristine as this picture. I’m sure there were moments of happiness, but lately everything seems to keep falling apart. 

Dan didn’t notice when Phil walked up to him, but quickly laughed, “I’m sorry.” Rolled off his tongue before he could process some funny comment. “I just..” Dan thought for a second, then deflated. “I just really like this picture.” 

Phil smiled, looking to the photo again. “Me too.” Phil said softly. He racked his brain trying to think of how to lighten this moment. “We’re smiling because we had no idea the harsh reality of life.” Phil ended the statement off with a laugh. Turning and walking back towards the family room. “Come on! Let’s find something to do!” Phil said. 

Dan finally snapped out of it, turning to see Phil disappearing around the corner. “What you got in mind, Mr. AmazingPhil?” He called out with a blush, pulling on his fringe to cover his face. He had an image to maintain, after all. 

As Dan rounded the corner, he saw Phil bent over and digging in the bottom drawer of the entertainment system. “Well, danisnotonfire,” Phil muttered, thankful that his face was hidden from the younger boy, “What’s the one thing we can never get sick of?” Phil asked.

Dan raised his eyebrows as he looked over the expanse of Phil’s backside. “I could think of a few things, actually.” Dan said, deciding that when his awkwardness is too high the best thing to do is flirt. Phil sat back on his heels and turned to look at Dan with an unreadable expression. Disbelief at such a bold statement, confusion wondering if he was reading the situation right, hope that they were on the same page, guarded in case he was wrong. 

Silently, Phil lifted what he was looking for. “Video games, of course!” He said with a smile that made his tongue stick out. 

Dan lifted his hands in an awkward attempt to look happy, “Yay something I never get to do!” Dan said as he hopped on the couch. 

“Well what you’re not used to doing is getting beat, sonny.” Phil said in a joking manner, refusing to look at Dan. 

Dan looked over at Phil with his mouth hanging open, eyes wide open in disbelief. “Is that so, Philly?” The second it left his mouth Dan made a face. That didn’t work he decided. “That didn’t work.” Dan said as Phil looked over at him with a confused face, “That didn’t work at all.” He started laughing, trying to keep it quiet. “Sorry, haha, I will never try that again.” He kept laughing as phil joined in. “Ok ok. What game am I going to be crushing you at?” He asked as he pulled up his sleeves as if he were about to do serious work. As Dan cracked his knuckles, he looked over at Phil who was looking down at Dan’s hands. 

Instinctively, Dan went to pull his sleeves back down. “Sorry…”

“Never. Do. That. Again!” Phil said with disgust in his face. Dan’s face was burning with embarrassment. Phil saw and he thinks he is disgusting, 

“I’m sorry, Phil.” Dan said barely above a whisper. He felt the tell tale signs of tears burning behind his eyes. Phil didn’t take his eyes off his hands. Actually reaching out to touch him. No no no no he couldn’t he thought as he pulled his hands closer to him, wordlessly denying concentrate to let Phil touch him. Phil looked up with an amused grin. 

“Don’t apologize to me! Apologize to your joints when you’re 40 and can’t hold a pen!” Phil laughed through his joke, not realizing that Dan was not following. 

Dan looked from Phil’s eyes sto his laughing mouth to his own hands. Oh. He hadn’t seen what he thought he had, he was commenting on the cracking knuckles thing. Oh. Relief flooded Dan’s entire body as he joined in, awkwardly, with Phil’s laughing. He stood, excused himself, and made some soft excuse that he had to use the loo, leaving a smiling, confused Phil to set up the game. Phil looked over his shoulder to he Dan quickly walking away with his head down. Phil enjoyed having him here, but couldn’t help but wonder if he just missed something. Eh. He decided not to worry about it and go ahead and get the game set up.

Dan closed the door quickly behind him and leaned against it hard. Finally, he allowed himself the comfort of tears. Leaning against the door, Dan fell to the ground, hugging his knees to his chest. He covered his mouth quickly to keep himself quiet as he released all the pressure that somehow had built up. He felt lost. Here he was… with Phil… and he still felt like crap. For no reason! He was overreacting for no reason. Phil hadn’t seen anything! He was just joking about cracking knuckles. But the panic in Dan’s chest at the thought of Phil seeing… He simply couldn’t handle it. 

Phil had set up the game but realized Dan was still in the loo. He shrugged his shoulder and decided to go to the kitchen and make some drinks so that they wouldn’t have to later. He contemplated making popcorn as well. He looked to the bathroom door, still shut. He walked over to ask if Dan had wanted anything, he didn’t think anything about knocking on the door. “Hey Dan!” Suddenly there was a lot of motion behind the door. Phil’s heart rate sped up, he didn’t mean to interrupt. His mind flashed back to moments before when he thought he had missed something. Now he wonders if he did indeed miss something. 

“Hey, I’m thinking about making popcorn. You aren't going to make me eat that alone are you?” Phil said trying to make sure the topic stays light. He listened closely, trying to get a read on the situation without invading. I mean… He could just need the loo… Just as Phil was about to walk back to the kitchen he heard something that made his stomach drop. Was that… sniffling?

Dan was dabbing his face, trying to dry the tears that had fallen. He was moving at the speed of light trying to turn the water on to splash his face quickly to cool him off as well as fixing his hair without getting it wet and straightening his outfit. He heard Phil’s question, but decided to just ignore it. At some point Phil would walk away and knowing Phil and his appetite, make the popcorn with ot without his ok. Dan stopped and finally looked up into the mirror.

His eyes were a bit puffy still, but maybe he could use that to his advantage. He was well aware of what people thought about him and the way he looks. He stepped back and raked his fingers through his hair and turned his head to the perfect angle that he knew looked good. He then pulled his britches down a bit so that his boxers were showing just a bit and he had the perfect _fuckboy_ look. He secretly loved being wanted… but usually hated what it meant. Usually it just meant a steamy makeout session and then never talking to someone again. Maybe this time it’ll be different?Dan looked himself over posing a bit in the mirror and practicing the perfect sad face that he could use on Phil. His eyes were just barely puffy so he had to go.

Finally taking a deep breath, he moved back towards the door and opened it. Fully expecting Phil to be in the kitchen, Dan was forced to yelp out in surprise at Phil standing right outside the door. “Oh… _fuck_ me Phil.” Dan explained, fixing his hair. “What are you doing creeping outside the loo door?” Dan couldn’t meet his eye. 

“Well,” Phil started. He had already seen the slightly tears eyes that Dan was trying to cover up. “I never heard whether or not you wanted popcorn.” Phil explained quickly, taking a couple steps back. 

Dan wracked his brain trying to think of a response that wouldn’t be too sincere and would lighten up the moment. “Oh,” what could he say right now? “I could go for popcorn, but…” Dan smirked… “I can think of something else I want more.” Dan said quietly, bowing his head and looking up through his eyelashes in a very practiced look, daring Phil.

Phil was completely lost. He took in the younger boy’s appearance. Shamelessly he looked from the puppy brown eyes down to the slim waist. He could help but linger on the few inches of boxers that rested on his hip bones. Phil shook his fringe a bit to cover up what he was looking at and searched for Dan’s face. He could see the flirty smirk that he wore on his lips, but he could also see something hiding behind his eyes. Something that didn’t match the flirty nature. Phil wasn’t sure how to respond… Should he add on or should he change the topic. What wouldn’t offend Dan? Oh how tempting it would be to push the tanned boy up against a wall… but something in the back of Phil’s head said that this wasn’t the time.

Phil couldn’t help but lick his lips as he smirked himself, tilting his head. Reassessing a low giggle and peering back at Dan, Phil finally took a breath to respond. “Hmmm,” he said lowly, completely missing Dan’s soft intake of air at the sound, “I dunno if you’re quite ready, Danny boy.” Phil finished confidently, winked and turned to walk back to the kitchen. Finally deciding to make popcorn anyway. 

Phil took his strides confidently, but awkwardly knowing that Dan was most likely watching his every movement. He smiled to himself. Dan felt slightly flushed at Phil and his response. Lightly panting, Dan watched Phil walk away with a sincere smile on his face. He didn’t just want to make Phil flustered, he needed to. Dan smirked as he finally willed his feet to move so he could go back to the couch and sit down, waiting for Phil to come back. 

 

This was going to be fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh dear... WHat will happen next?


	5. Gaming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Playful banter and video games.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not the best. Not gonna lie. It's pretty crap.

Phil took as long as he could in the kitchen trying to forget that small moment with Dan. It wasn’t even that big of a deal. They flirt all the time. Albeit it’s usually at the understanding that nothing will happen because it was online. He had never thought about having him actually here. “So,” Phil yelled from the kitchen. “What do you want to play?” He asked innocently. He wanted to make sure Dan felt comfortable. He was so nervous that he would leave here and never talk to him again. Phil couldn’t stand to think that might happen, so he kept things as positive as possible. If that meant pushing what he was feeling down, he didn’t mind. He just really wanted to understand the mystery that is Dan. 

His curiosity and bashfulness was enduring to Phil. So often when they were Skyping Phil could tell that Dan wanted to ask him something, but instead of just asking, Phil would receive a text with the question or statement. He had been too shy to say it out loud. Phil smiled at the memory of some of those things. Then he shook himself back into reality when the microwave beeped alerting him that the popcorn was ready. 

Dan looked over the games that for some reason didn’t interest him at all. “I don’t care, Phil. Whatever you want.” Dan called back. Dan stretched out on the couch and quickly tried to make himself look good. He fixed his hair, for the hundredth time, and then pulled his shirt up a bit. Then pushed it back down. _Too much_ Or is it? Pulling his britches down so that his shorts were showing, Dan pulled his shirt upso an inch of skin was showing. Dan laid himself out and stretched his arms under his head so that the shirt raise looked natural. He could hear that Phil was almost done with their snack and would be coming back into the room soon. He willed his nervous heart to slow down. He wanted to be what he had made himself out to be to Phil. Online, Dan was accustomed to putting on a front and acting a certain way. Confidant, sarcastic, random, and flirty. That was his online persona. Not awkward, scared, timid, and shy. Phil clearly liked what he got online, he only had to keep up with that image in person. Right?

Phil sighed while pouring the popcorn into a large bowl. “I mean, you do. Want to play right?” Phil responded, reading the disinterest in Dan’s voice. He wanted to make sure that Dan was having fun. He didn’t want to be losing Dan’s interest all ready. Phil started to clean up before heading back out to Dan. 

“Yeah, of course.” Dan responded, closing his eyes quickly, to perfect the natural relaxing look he was going for. “As I said earlier, Phil.” Dan said softer, knowing that Phil was walking into the room. “I’m here for your entertainment.” Dan knew that wasn’t exactly what he said earlier, but knew that it would be making Phil turn colors which is what he was going for. He was picturing it in his head right now. 

Phil almost dropped the popcorn as he walked into the family room. Rudely, Phil ran his eyes over Dan’s body. _Is he trying to get me worked up?_ Actually, knowing Dan, he probably was. So with that knowledge, he didn’t feel bad moving his eyes over the resting body. His attention was immediately drawn to the bit of flesh that was exposed above his hips. Such tan skin that made Phil want to search for tan lines… “Making yourself comfortable,I see?” Phil decided to challenge while putting the bowl down on the coffee table and nudging Dan’s legs to make room so he could sit on the couch as well. 

“Well what do you expect, Phil?” Dan groaned in mock annoyance. “I spent all day traveling, I’m a bit tired.” Dan said kicking at Phil’s legs pretending to try and get more comfortable.

“Ok ok!” Phil said, finally getting off the couch and letting Dan have the couch. He laughed as he decided to go through though the games and pick one out. “How about some action to wake you up?” Phil asked with a flirty inflection in his voice. Phil looked over his shoulder to see Dan peeking at him with questioning eyes and raised eyebrows. Phil picked up the game he had in mind and smiled as Dan rolled his eyes. 

“Crash Bandicoot, Phil?” Dan groaned, finally sitting up. “ _That’s_ your idea of an action game?” Dan asked situating himself on the couch. 

“What can I say?” Phil shrugged, putting the game in. “I’m a simple guy.” Phil hooked up the controls and got the game going on the TV. After returning to the couch he held out the control for Dan. Dan eyed the control, then looked up into Phil’s eyes with _that look_. Phil wanted to drop the controls and pounce on Dan. He smiled at himself, but tossed the control on Dan's lap anyway.

After a couple levels, they finally warmed up and felt more comfortable around each other. Their banter was full of insults mixed with laughter. Dan forgot about his insecurities and Phil forgot about the awkwardness. After a couple hours, They found themselves slumped against the couch cushions both leaning towards the middle towards each other. At some point Phil noticed that Dan’s yawns became too common. Phil paused the game and turned to Dan about to ask him if he was ready to go to bed, but he was caught off guard by how close they had gotten during their gaming session. 

“Phil?” Dan asked, with a shy smile. “Why’d you pause -” The rest of Dan’s sentence was muffled by the yawn that he wasn’t even trying to hide anymore. 

“Really?” Phil asked, laughing. “Why did I pause the game?” He laughed a little louder. “You’re falling asleep!” Phil tossed the control onto the ground and stretched, making sure to press his fist into Dan’s face just to annoy him. “Hmm I’m sleepy myself!” Phil started to laugh as Dan pushed his hand away laughing as well. 

Dan giggled as his sat up slightly out of the way of Phil’’s flailing limbs. “Alright. Alright!” Dan laughed, pushing Phil away. 

“So, bed then?” Phil asked. Laying his head down, resting his arm over his head and looking up at Dan. 

“I dunno.” Dan shrugged. He was pretty tired, but he didn’t want the day to end. And with Phil laying there looking. At him like that, he really didn’t want to get up.

“Well then, what did you have in mind?” Phil asked, letting his eyes fall shut. He really didn’t notice how tired he was until just now. 

Dan hardly processed what Phil had said. He was too busy processing the scene in front of him. Phil was laid out right next to him. He could literally lean down and press his lips to the pale skin of Phil’s neck. It was right there. He knew that sleeping was the last thing on his mind now. “I mean…” Dan coughed and forced himself to respond to Phil’s question. “We could watch a movie?” Dan offered. 

Phil opened his eyes to look at Dan, catching him staring. “Is that really what you want to do?” Phil decided not to filter this question. He enjoyed the pink flush that he caused Dan to gain on his cheeks. He was too tired to pretend he didn’t enjoy making Dan flustered. Phil sat up a bit so that he was on the same level as Dan and faced him, making sure they were just the slightest bit closer. This didn’t go unnoticed by Dan who started to play with his sleeves. 

“Well,” Dan said with a smile tugging at his lips. “It’s not the most ideal thing.” Dan looked up to look into Phil’s eyes. “But it’ll work.” Dan held eye contact with Phil until Phil made a very obvious glance down to Dan’s lips. Self cautiously, Dan took his bottom lip into his mouth to bite at it, bowing his head with a shy smile. To avoid further awkwardness, Phil decided to stand up. 

“Alright.” Phil said, taking a moment to stretch. “Well I’m going to at least change for bed. These jeans are not exactly comfortable.” Phil said, turning to look at Dan who was adjusting himself to the edge of the couch looking up at Phil. “Tell you what. You change first, I’ll clean up out here, and then you can pick out the movie while I change.” Phil was quite proud of that line up. Dan nodded, standing up and looking for where he placed his suitcase at. 

“Sounds like a plan, boss.” Dan said, doing a mock solute finally locating his suitcase and looking around again. 

Phil read his mind. “You can take that into my room if you’d like.” Phil said, trying to gage Dan’s reaction. They hadn’t talked about the sleeping arrangements yet. Dan tilted his head, but didn’t respond. Turning on his heel, Dan disappeared with his suitcase to Phil’s room. 

Phil continued to clean and by the time everything was put away, Dan had returned. “Where are the films?” Dan had asked from behind Phil, surprising him. 

Phil turned and took in the relaxed apparel that Dan had chosen to wear. Simple sweatpants and a long sleeve shirt that hung off his left shoulder. Phil approved. Phil turned to point at the entertainment center. “Bottom left cupboard.” He said, stifling a yawn. “Pick one out, I’ll be right back.” Phil said heading to change. HE decided to go for some simple sweatpants as well, but short a short sleeve shirt instead. He tended to get warm in his sleep. He was just about to head out before he turned and decided to grab a blanket. He smiled as he came back into view and saw that Dan had already put a movie in and had it on the title screen. 

“Wall-e?” Phil questioned, tossing the blanket at Dan who was already on the couch against the right arm rest.

“I haven’t seen it yet.” Dan shrugged. “Blanket?” Dan bantered back. 

It was Phil’s turn to shrug. “I get cold.” He lied. 

“Want something to drink before we start it?” Phil asked as he turned off all the lights. Dan shook his head and grabbed the remote from the table. Phil plopped down next to Dan. Far enough away to not make the younger boy uncomfortable, but close enough to spread the blanket over the two boys. “Alrighty, Danny. Play away.” Phil said, getting comfortable. 

Dan took in a breath and hit play. He couldn’t help but lean closer to Phil under the intention of getting comfortable under the blanket. He felt happier than he had in a long time. Phil had no idea how just sitting here was affecting him. The fact that he could be this comfortable with another human being surprised him. Usually he had messed something up and made the other person mad. But for some reason, Phil was different. Phil had clearly made himself as comfy as possible as he leaned back and kicked his feet up on the coffee table. Dan decided to do the same. Dan had to stop himself from laying on Phil's shoulders. With a shake f his head, he forced himself to focus on the screen. This was going to be a long movie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's pretty shit. I know. But I am really looking forward to the next chapter.


	6. Movie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get interesting...

Dan wanted so badly to make fun of the events unfolding on the screen, figuring that was expected of him. But he simply couldn’t focus on what was happening in the movie. Dan had crossed his arms in front of him, making sure that his fringe was covering some of his face. Phil was relaxed as far as he could without having his ass actually off the couch. Both sets of feet were still resting on the table. And Dan could feel the heat radiating from Phil. Dan decided that he wanted to test the waters. Just how far could he push Phil’s buttons before he finally lets go?

Dan pretended to stretch a little, raising his feet off the table as he did so. He then decided to cross his right leg over his left while lowering them, just a bit closer towards Phil. Keeping his left arm wrapped slightly around his stomach he brought his right hand up to his face to bite at his nails as he allowed his right foot to rest on top of Phil’s. He kept his eyes glued to the screen as if to pretend he wasn’t completely over analyzing every move he was making. He was glad now that the lights were off to hide his growing blush that was most likely forming.

Phil froze under the touch of Dan’s foot. It really wasn't much. I mean it was a foot. But it was the first time that they touched outside of a playful push here and there throughout the entire day. Phil refused to look at Dan, but decided to tentatively move against Dan’s foot slightly. Phil was surprised to feel Dan curl his toes down to touch Phil more directly. Phil didn’t want to read too much into this, wanted to play it cool, so he kept his eyes on the TV even though he really wanted to look over at Dan. 

Dan was feeling confident, but terrified at the same time. He decided to wait a bit to try something else. It was probably half way through the movie at this point nad Dan, unwillingly, noticed that his feet were actually falling asleep from their position. He shifted to try and get more comfortable. Phil immediately tensed, “You alright?” Phil whispered. He didn’t really know why he was whispering. They were the only two in the room, it’s not like they were going to annoy anyone else by talking. 

Dan matched his pitch though and responded. “Yeah, just ‘m legs are falling asleep.” He released a tense giggle at the awkwardness. As he attempted to sit up a bit, he uncrossed his arms and pushed himself more into a sitting position. Phil yawned and joined him in sitting up a bit. Both boys took the feel off the table and Dan was slightly disappointed at the loss in contact. Phil decided to lean into the corner of the left arm of the couch so that he could lay a bit diagonal. This caused the blanket to slide off Dan a bit as Phil pulled away. “Hey!” Dan called, pulling the blanket back. “I see what you’re doing, trying to get all the blanket to yourself.” 

Phil did that laugh where his tongue stuck out of the side of his mouth while pulling the blanket back. “Shhhh, you’re missing a major plot point coming up!” Phil said quietly. Dan cocked his head a bit while biting his lip. Dan was stuck between wanting to be bitter and lean the opposite way, or leaning into Phil and forcing him to share the blanket. He didn’t get to make up his mind before Phil spoke up. “I’m too comfy to move, so if you want some blanket you’ll have to come over here.” Dan decided to suck up his pride and lean towards Phil. Lightly pressing up against Phil’s side, he got just close enough to get under the blanket that Phil was holding up. “That wasn’t too hard now, was it?” Phil whispered with an amused tone. Dan opted to not respond and simply rolled his eyes and cross his arms instead.

Dan put his gaze back to the screen as the robot was trying to give a plant to another robot. He had no idea what was going on at this point. He was mainly thinking about what to do next. He had so many options. It had been about ten minutes since their position change and Dan had decided on his next move. Bringing his hand to his mouth he breathed out a yawn and stretched out his limbs a bit. As he settled, he made sure to fully lean into Phil. In response, Phil stiffened. _Oh god oh god oh god_.

“Tired?” Phil said, barely a whisper as he turned to look at Dan. Dan shrugged in response. Phil thought about his next move for a while. His right arm felt slightly awkward with Dan’s weight against it. It would only be for comfort that he moved it. Not because he wanted Dan to be closer. “Here.” Phil said as he lifted his right arm so that Dan could rest his head against the crook of his shoulder. Dan looked at Phil in surprise but Phil looked like it was the most natural thing to do. Hesitantly, Dan decided to accept the offer and leaned into Phil’s sides. 

After a couple seconds of adjusting, they finally got into a comfortable position. Phil was fighting his mind trying to calm his heartbeat while Dan was trying not to physically shake with nerves. After a few minutes, though, they both felt comforted by the closeness of the other person. Slowly Dan was able to gain a bit more confidence and he decided to rest his head against Phil’s chest. He did not miss Phil’s hitch in breathing, which made Dan smile. Phil looked at Dan, trying his best to not move his head. He probably liked that feeling a bit too much. Feeling a bit full of himself, he decided to lay his head down against Dan.

At some point, Phil started to rub his thumb against Dan’s side. It was subtle, but made Dan’s stomach flip. Dan was perfectly content with where they were that he could have laid there all night. The warmth from being so close to his internet crush was something that he never wanted to move from. However, he wanted to push things a bit further. Wanted to see just how far he could push this… thing. 

If he were being completely honest, he wanted to push himself. He had only been in intimate situations with girls. It’s not like he didn’t like it, he did. It wasn’t even until watching Phil’s videos that he ever serious considered this other side of himself. He hated when people asked if he were gay, or called him that based off his appearance. Everyone held such negative connotations against the terminology. He didn’t see the point in labeling that. He had no idea what he was. He was only 18, he was allowed to not know or even understand what he was. He enjoyed his time spent with Phil. Whether it was emailing or skyping, he felt so much more at ease with Phil than he ever had with anyone else before. So he wanted to see it through. He wanted to know once and for all if he was really into Phil like he thought he was, and if he was in fact someone who could “swing both ways”.

While rehashing this all in his mind, Dan was filled with determination as he slowly moved his left hand under the blanket to press against Phil’s leg. He let his fingers flex a bit against the side of Phil’s leg before running his hand across to rest on the top Phil’s thigh, just above his knee. Both boy’s tense over this added touch. Phl’s right arm curls Dan ever so slightly tighter against him. Dan starts to trace light circles on inside of Phil’s thigh. Phil would be completely lying if he said this had no effect on him. In truth, he could feel himself get slightly hard as his heart rate sped up. Dan’s hand was mere inches away from where all of phil’s blood was rushing to. He couldn’t get the thought out of his mind. Surly Dan knew what he was doing. In fact, Phil could only bet that if he could see Dan’s face he was probably smirking. He felt nervous and slightly embarrassed because all Dan was doing was touching him, yet he was getting a semi from that alone. He resisted the urge to adjust himself, and decided to run his hand slightly lower so that his finger teased against the fabric of Dan’s pants. 

Dan’s stomach was a whirl of butterflies as he felt aroused at the situation he found himself in. His hand faltered for a moment as he felt Phil’s move lower, teasing the sensitive skin by his pants. They both kept their eyes glued to the TV even though neither could tell the other what was going on in the movie at this point. The only thing Dan could tell is that the movie was most likely ending soon. It was now or never. He could hardly hear the TV over his own heart as he shrugged his shoulders slightly, tilting his head up. Phil read you younger boy’s motions and lifted his head a bit, turning to face Dan who was still avoiding Phil’s eyes. Dan moved his hand further up Phil's thigh as he slowly made eye contact.

It was so dark in the room that Dan could barely see the blue in Phil’s eyes, but what he saw there made him second guess what he was doing. He wasn’t sure if he wanted what Phil wanted. He just wanted to figure himself out. Phil looked like he was truly falling for him and that made Dan terrified. Without wanting to think about the whole situation, Dan pushed his logic aside and planned out his next move. 

Phil couldn’t read the younger boy and was terrified of misreading the situation. The last thing he wanted to do was to act like he invited Dan over to take advantage of him. Dan had never even admitted that he was curious about boys. Every time Phil tried to get him to open up about it Dan had changed the subject. Sure they flirted all the time, but people will say anything online. Although, how could he possibly misread this? Dan had clearly been ok with everything so far and looked more than willing to continue. Then, Dan knew what he’d do.

So Dan made sure to look pointed down at his covered hand that was within an inch of Phil’s crotch. Phil followed the look, making his stomach flip and his breathing heavier as he felt Dan start moving even closer. “Dan…” Phil warned in a whisper. Dan looked back at Phil slowly, smirk in place.

Dan didn’t respond, he just bit at his lip and looked at Phil’s. Phil couldn’t take it anymore. Finally he brought his left hand up to Dan’s face and pulled the brunette into a bruising kiss. 

Dan couldn’t help but let out a quiet yelp at the rough movement. He blinked in surprise at first, then sank into the kiss. Phil had hesitantly licked at Dan’s lips requesting access to which Dan was more than willing to allow. Dan kept his left hand on Phil’s thigh as he brought his other hand up to tangle in Phil’s hair as the older boy continued to explore Dan’s mouth. 

Dan couldn’t help but compare how different it was from his previous dates. Usually he had to push them a bit which made him uncomfortable. But with Phil, he was pushing Dan in a wonderful way. Dan still wanted to feel like he was in control though, getting off on making Phil crazy. He wanted to see Phil completely let go. Dan could feel himself losing control of the situation as Phi began to push Dan into the couch. Quickly, he grabbed a handful of raven hair and pulled Phil back, ending the kiss. 

Phil barely had time to gasp before feeling Dan’s lips on his neck. Dan figured this part would be pretty similar to what he’s done in the past. Necks are necks after all, right? Dan removed his hand from Phil’s hair and let it wander down his torso, pushing him further into the couch so that Dan was practically on top of him. He almost forgot about his hand that was practically on top of Phil’s crotch. He skillfully ran his hand over Phil’s bulge without putting any pressure on it. He stopped just below Phil’s shirt so that he could trace teasing circles into the skin there. Phil was gasping under Dan’s movements. It was all he could do to not push Dan over and grind all over the boy. Instead he let Dan have his way. 

Phil ran his hand under Dan’s shirt and softly ran his nails over the small of his back, earning a quiet moan from Dan’s mouth. Dan was encouraged by this and moved up from Phil’s neck to his ear. Gently tugging on it with his teeth. This made Phil shudder with lust. Dan pulled off to look at Phil who gladly took that opportunity to pull dan back in for another kiss. This time it was Phil who wrapped a hand in Dan’s hair and forced his head back. He held Dan there for a moment, enjoying how his mouth hung open with his eyes shut. Phil leaned in further and ran his tongue against Dan’s neck. 

Dan’s eyes flew open as he gasped at the feeling. Phil smirked to himself and pressed his mouth onto Dan’s collar bone lightly biting at the skin there. Dan couldn't help but moan at the feeling. Phil loved how responsive Dan was being and continued to explore Dan’s neck. Dan had to bite his lips shut so that he didn’t completely embarrass himself. He couldn't help himself from moving his hand more though. He didn’t want to full press into Phil yet, but with a helpful thrust from Phil and a grunt in his ear as Phil wrapped his hand firmly against Dan’s neck, Dan couldn't stop himself from pawing at Phil’s crotch. 

Phil had to pause from exploring Dan’s neck and leaned against Dan’s head for a moment. Dan grabbed at Phil slightly awkwardly. He was trying to seem confident, but he had never rubbed at another guy’s crotch. Dan twisted his head to meet Phil’s lips again and they explored each others mouths. Dan continued to move his hand over Phil feeling him get harder. It was intoxicating. Phil could hardly process what was going on. All he knew was that Dan had to stop touching him or he was going to cum in his pants. He also decided that there was too much fabric between them. 

Phil reached down to lay his hand over Dan’s, stopping his motions. Dan pulled from the kiss, worried that he had done something wrong. But it was Phil who was apologizing. “Sorry…” He whispered with a nervous laugh as he leaned back in to claim Dan’s lips again. Dan was slightly hesitant this time. Phil worked at trying to get Dan back to where they were a couple minutes ago. They both found a place for their hands to go, enjoying exploring the other person's body. 

Finally, Phil felt like Dan was comfortable enough to move to the next step. Moving his hand to the bottom of Dan’s shirt he tugged at it slightly. Dan didn’t follow what Phil was hinting at, so Phil lifted the fabric to run his hands against his skin. Dan leaned into the touch, loving the feeling of Phil’s hands. Phil continued to push the fabric further up until Dan backed away from Phil’s kiss. Phil and Dan stared at each other, slightly panting in spite of themselves. Dan knew what Phil was wanting to do but didn’t know if he was quite ready… at least with lights on. Even the light from the TV was a bit much. There was a lot that he wanted to hide from Phil, but he didn’t want to scare Phil into thinking he didn't want what was happening. 

Phil reached up to press a soft kiss against Dan’s lips. Dan accepted the kiss, but didn't offer any more. Phil lowered his hands and settled for holding Dan in his arms. Eventually Dan rested his head against Phil’s chest, looking up at the TV for the first time in what feels like ages. He let out a soft laugh. 

“The movies over.” Dan said, barely able to put any noise behind the words. 

Phil looked up at the screen also and laughed. “Did you like it?” 

Dan smiled. “That was the best movie I’ve never watched.” He turned his head to look back at Phil who reached down to move his hair out of his face. Dan almost lost his breath looking up at Phil. The way Phil was looking at him and touching him. It was almost too much. Dan looked for his phone to see the time and groaned, it was 1am. “We should probably go to bed.” 

Phil groaned as well. “I’m definitely not tired now.” He said laying his head back. 

Dan smiled to himself. “Didn’t say we had to sleep.” Dan said with a flirty tone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed ;) If you did you'll love the next bit!


	7. Lights Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get a bit interesting...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First time writing like this, give me some slack!

Phil couldn’t believe what he had heard. _Didn’t say we needed to sleep._ He pulled back and looked into Dan’s eyes. As much as he wanted this he was terrified that he would be pushing too far. He didn’t want to scare Dan off. Not this early. He knew he had a tendency to go a bit crazy when it comes to the bedroom. Was Dan really ready for that? 

Dan couldn’t handle the way that Phil was looking at him. There was so much that he couldn’t read. So much he didn’t want to. He looked down at Phil’s lips, trying to steady his breathing. Finally, Dan was the first to initiate movement. He slowly reached down and entwined their hands together. Phil followed Dan’s movements with his eyes. With his other hand, Dan brought it to Phil’s face pulling him back to look him in the eyes. 

Phil’s mouth went dry as his stared into the dark brown eyes that were full of want. As Dan leaned forward, Phil closed his eyes, expecting to feel Dan’s lips on his. What he got instead were lips on his neck. He gasped slightly at the touch and turned his neck to give Dan more room. Dan inched his way to Phil’s ear and pulled lightly with his teeth. Dan smirked as he heard Phil gasp. 

Then as Dan’s breath hit Phil’s ear he shuddered at the words coming out of Dan’s mouth. “You do want to fuck me, right?” He whispered as he then continued his mistrations on Phil’s neck. Phil gripped Dan’s hand tightly as his other hand balled into the couch. He was so close to losing it. Dan was gaining more confidence as he felt Phil trying to hold back.

Phil decided he wanted to give Dan an out one last time. Without moving, Phil responded. “Are you sure?” He said surprisingly clearly. Dan didn’t have to think about that at all. Of course he was. Why wouldn’t he be? Because he was younger? Because he hadn’t before? He decided it was time to prove to Phil that he wasn’t a kid and could handle this. 

Dan responded lifting their joined hands towards himself, placing Phil’s hand over his hard dick. Phil couldn’t stop his hips from thrusting at the motions, but refused to move his hand over Dan until he had his answer. Dan pressed into Phil’s ear once more while he encouraged Phil’s hand to move over him. Raising his hand to tangle in Phil’s hair, Dan growled, “Are you?” Ready to move this along, Dan tightened his grip in Phil's hair and pulled Phil backward, exposing his neck entirely. Phil let out the air he was holding in and Dan started on his neck once more. 

This time, not hesitating at leaving marks while he rolled his hips into Phil's hand. Finally, Phil couldn’t stand it anymore and yanked Dan’s hand away from his hair. Before Dan could even gasp in surprise, Phil had grabbed Dan’s hips and forced him onto his lap. All Dan could do is grab at the couch trying to steady himself and Phil pushed and pulled Dan over his lap. Forcing their erections to run against each other. 

Then he reached his hand behind Dan’s neck and pulled him down into a bruising kiss. Dan could hardly think. This is exactly what he wanted. Raw, rough, lust in action. He also knew he wanted to be in the bed. He was close to losing himself in the moment, but he was still scared about Phil seeing his arms and regretting everything. The lights were off, but the TV shined too much. Dan was worried Phil could see something. Dan attempted to pull away to tell Phil to go to the bedroom, but Phil wouldn't’ let him. He then tried to move off of Phil, hoping that he’d get the hint. But Phil tightened his grip in Dan’s hip.

Finally, Phil decided to move his hands under Dan’s shirt as he moved from his lips to Dan’s neck. Dan held in the moans and gasps as much as he could, completely forgetting why a second ago he was trying to get off Phil. As Phil started lifting Dan’s shirt His eyes flew open, finally finding his voice. “Phil, stop!” He said, startling Phil who'll pulled back and looked up with wide eyes, too scared to speak.

Dan smiled, “Don’t look at me like that.” Phil deflated a bit and was starting to roll his eyes, but Dan continued. “I just don’t want to do this here.” He gestured to the couch. He leaned in to kiss Phil, who was now hesitant, but understanding. Dan gripped Phil’s shirt as he climbed off his lap, not wanting to let the kiss end. Phil stood and quickly took control of the situation, guiding Dan towards his room. Stopping to push Dan into the wall every once in a while. 

Finally they got to the bedroom and Phil kicked the door shut. Dan took this moment to push Phil against the closed door. He enjoyed fighting for dominance with Phil, even though he knew that he could never actually follow through with it. Phil pulled a hand away to reach toward the light switch. Dan quickly grabbed his hand back and Phil looked down with a question in his eyes. 

He didn’t want the lights on. Phil could sense that Dan was insecure about something. He understood, but wanted Dan to understand that he had nothing to be ashamed of. As Phil was slowly leaning into kiss, Dan decided it was time to get back to the tone that they had on the couch. He allowed the kiss and decided to pull Phil away from the door and push him closer to the bed, away from the lightswitch. 

Phil felt the bed against the backs of his legs. Dan mimicked Phil’s motions from earlier and ran his hands under Phil’s shirt. He was still learning after all, so mimicking Phil seemed to be the best option at this point. He reached up and ran his nails down Phil’s back. Phil groaned into Dan’s mouth which filled Dan with pride. Phil pulled back and ripped his shirt off. Dan took advantage of the situation and ran his hands over the newly exposed skin before pushing him down onto the bed. Phil glared up at Dan with hungry eyes. It was so dark in the room he could barely see the smirk that Dan was sporting. 

Phil sat up and pulled Dan towards him so that Dan was leaning over, still standing. Dan relented, but didn’t lay on the bed. Rather, he kneeled down between Phil's legs and ran his hands up Phil’s thighs. Phil’s brain almost short circuited as he realized what Dan was wanting to do. It barely dawned on him that he should probably check on Dan to make sure he was okay. Phil grabbed Dan’s hands, stilling them. Phil was breathing heavy as he looked into Dan’s eyes. 

“Dan,” Phil whispered. “I…” Phil let go a soft laugh, “I can’t control myself.. Especially with _this_.” Phil gestured to Dan’s location. Dan took this information in and debated with himself. 

Dan smirked, and moved his hands anyway, pulling Phil’s pj pants down just enough. Dan looked up at Phil though his eyelashes as he whispered, “Is that a promise?” Phil let out a moan and threw his head back as Dan finally took Phil’s dick in his hand. Dan was mesmerized by Phil’s reactions. He was unsure of himself, but with every sound Phil made he was filled with confidence. He teased a bit by licking up the sides, causing Phil to squirm. Finally, he took the tip in his mouth.

Phil groaned at the sensation. He hated how much Dan was teasing he had no idea. He kept gripping the bed, holding back. Dan continued to explore Phil’s impossibly hard dick with his mouth. He finally had enough encouragement from Phil to take more in his mouth. He opened his mouth wider and brought his mouth lower. “Oh my god, Dan.” Phil moaned. Dan looked up and saw how Phil was gripping the bed, clearly trying to hold himself back. 

He bobbed his head a couple times and pulled off, causing Phil to moan. Dan brought his hand to Phil’s that were still gripping the duvet. Dan led Phil’s hand to the back of his head. “Phil,” he practically moaned, “let go.” Dan said and left Phil’s hand on his head as he took Phil in his mouth once again.

And Phil was gone. Phil gripped Dan’s hair and pulled slightly. Dan moaned into Phil’s cock sending vibrations through Phil. Phil thrust his hips forward, surprising Dan. Dan loved it and let Phil continue. As Phil pushed his way into Dan’s mouth, Dan brought his hand down to his own cock to relieve some pressure. He can’t remember ever being so hard. He continued to moan into Phil as he thrusted harder. 

Phil stopped thrusting up and decided to start pulling Dan further down. “Come on,” Phil moaned. “You can take it.” He growled as he forced his cock deeper down Dan’s throat. Dan had no idea what to do and quickly gagged. “Shit,” Phil moaned as Dan tried to pull off. Dan understood the concept and had looked up how to deepthroat but he had never done it. Had no idea how to. He could feel tears prickling to his eyes as Phil’s cock hit his throat and he quickly brought his hands up to Phil’s thighs to steady himself. He hated hearing Phil’s frustrated sounds, so he let Phil pull his head down and kept trying to adjust his mouth. 

“Oh my god,” Phil exclaimed as Dan coughed around his cock. He pulled Dan off, allowing him to gasp for air. He sat up and kissed Dan roughly, enjoying tasting himself on Dan’s lips. Dan could barely process the change and as soon as he was kissing back Phil was forcing his head back down. He felt like a fish out of water being pushed and pulled in different directions as Phil forced his mouth where he wanted. Every once in a while Phil would push down his throat for too long and Dan had to hit his thighs a couple times to make him stop. The tears were still brimming every once in a while, but Dan kept telling himself it was fine. It was worth it to see AmazingPhil falling apart. 

Finally, after what felt like hours, for Dan, Phil spoke and pulled Dan off of him by his hair. “Shit, ah, Dan, get up here.” Dan quickly wiped his mouth and climbed on top of Phil. Phil kissed Dan aggressively, biting and pulling at his lips, as his hand roamed his narrow frame. Dan couldn’t help but grind against Phil, both boys were lost in their lust. Suddenly, Phil pushed the younger boy over so that Dan was lying on his back. Dan was gasping as Phil kissed and nipped at his neck. 

Phil caught on quickly, noting that this was a major hot spot for him. He continued to leave bruising kisses all along the brunettes collar bone. Dan couldn’t stop squirming under Phil’s body, reaching up to run his nails down Phil’s back. Phil responded with a moan and sat up to remove the rest of Dan’s clothes. Dan took a breather to focus on Phil who was staring at him with pure want. Dan decided that he wanted to see that more often. 

As Phil lowered himself back onto Dan, he grabbed their erections in one hand, quickly jerking them against each other. Dan let out a loud moan to which Phil responded by reattaching his lips to Dan’s, causing him to moan into the kiss. It didn’t take long before Dan was warning Phil how close he was. Phil moved his lips to Dan’s neck, knowing that it would speed it along. He moved to Dan’s ear and whispered, “Cum for me.” 

Dan moaned, “Fuck, oh god.” As he finally spilled over Phil’s hands. It only took a few more strokes before Phil spilled over as well, grunting into Dan’s neck. They laid for a minute, both breathing heavy as their foreheads connected. As they both recovered, they smiled at each other and kissed slowly. 

After a couple minutes, Phil got up to get a washcloth and cleaned himself and Dan. Words weren’t needed as they quickly fell asleep in eachothers arms. Dan was sure that he had never been happier than in that moment.


	8. The Next Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil discovers something...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger for scar mentions and mild panic attack descriptions. 
> 
> Thank you all or putting up with me and my writers block. Any feedback is very much appreciated!!

Phil was the first to stir the next morning. He started to stretch but was constricted by a sleeping body next to him. He smiled to himself and pulled the younger boy closer. Dan stirred ever so slightly and curled on his side, laying his head on Phil's shoulder and bringing his arm over Phil’s torso. Smiling to himself, Phil wrapped his right arm around Dan. He ran his left hand over the arm across his stomach. He closed his eyes and rested his head on the top of Dan’s and just took in the moment. He felt better than he had in a long time. Nothing but happiness and he caressed Dan’s arm while listening to his breathing. 

He was enjoying think about everything that had happened the previous evening and he mindlessly ran his fingers across Dan’s skin. Phil crinkled his brows at what he felt. He figured there must be a scar. He laughed at the vision of clumsy Dan falling and ending up with some random scar. He looked forward to hearing the story behind it. He opened his eyes and gazed down at what he had been feeling. He flipped Dan’s arm to look better. That happiness he had just been feeling drained from his body immediately. What he had thought were clumsiness caused scars were actually quite the opposite. 

Phil had no idea what to do or say. He knew that Dan had been through a lot, but he had no idea it led him to this. He couldn’t process it. He didn’t get the chance, as soon as he realized what he was looking at, Dan started to stir. He quickly pulled the cover over them both and pulled Dan close. Dan smiled into Phil’s chest as he was embraced. He laughed softly with confusion and looked up to Phil who had sadness in his eyes. 

“What…” Dan started but was interrupted by Phil’s lips. There was something in the air that neither wanted to address. Dan knew he was missed something but knew Phil needed him in that moment. So he lied there at let Phil hold him. Phil couldn’t bring himself to bring up what he saw, and Dan was kind enough not to address the a crying fit he was in. He just couldn’t understand why _his_ Dan would do _this_. Dan was rubbing soft circles on Phil’s back not wanting to end the moment too soon, but his bladder was getting rather impatient. Phil had just taken a breath to say something but Dan beat him to it. “As much as I love all this, I might piss your bed so…” Phil laughed and released Dan, who quickly scrambled to the bathroom. Phil watched his form dashing, smiling sadly to himself. 

He got up and gathered some clothes for Dan to wear, figuring he probably wouldn't want to walk without anything on. As he was picking out a shirt it dawned on him why Dan was picking at his sleeves. He decided to get Dan a long sleeved shirt and wen to pick up shorts, but then got nervous so he decided to get the sweatpants from the night before and some pants. He carried them over to the bathroom. He stood there listening for a minute. 

Dan was standing in the bathroom looking himself over in the mirror. He couldn't believe how many marks Phil left on him. He was going to make Phil pay for that. He ran his fingers over the marks left behind by an enthusiastic Phil. He bit at his lips at the memory. He turned and reached for the door and caught sight of his arm… _Shit!_ He had forgotten about his clothes. His scars were not covered… He couldn’t possibly go back out and keep out of Phil’s view and put his clothes back on without Phil thinking something weird. He backed away from the door as if it were spitting fire. He tripped over the rug and fell backwards, he continued to push himself further away from the door until his back was against the tub. 

Dan’s breathing started to get heavy as all of his scars seemed to be screaming at him for all the things he’s done wrong. He covered his ears and tried so hard to be quiet. Phil heard jumbling- he tried to lean closer to hear just what was going on. Dan whimpered slightly then covered his mouth with his hand. _Shut up you idiot!_ Heis mind continued to berate him and Phil stood on the other side of the door tearing up. He couldn’t be there for Dan and he didn’t know what to do. If he said anything wrong, he knew Dan too well, he’d be out there door in a heartbeat. So instead he swallowed his nerves and contoured up a mask of his own. 

Dan heard knocking in the distance and willed himself to be calm enough to hear what Phil would be saying to him. “... so I’ll leave some clothes for you right here outside the door okay?” Dan wiped his tears and sat up, barely processing what he had heard. 

Phil was about to walk away, but contoured up one more happy sounding sentence. “Hope you like pancakes!” And walked off towards the kitchen. When he got there he fell to the ground against the cabinets. He hated, absolutely hated, not being able to burst through the door and hugging Dan close. He had to get over himself though. This was not about him. He had to be what Dan needed right now, and he did not need Phil boo-hooing like an idiot. He wiped at his face and quickly started making some noise in the kitchen so Dan would be able to hear that he wasn’t in the bedroom anymore and could get the clothing he left for him. 

It took Dan about ten minutes to get to the point where he was comfortable enough to stand up on shaking legs. Keeping his arms crossed over his stomach he opened the door slowly, peeking out. Making sure Phil wasn’t near him, he looked down and saw a pile of folded clothes. He picked them up and closed the door quickly. He slipped on the pants and reached for the shirt. Breathing a sigh of relief he slipped on Phil’s long sleeve shirt that he was given. After putting everything on he looked himself over in the mirror. He looked like absolute shit. He worked on cleaning himself up for about 10 more minutes until he decided that Phil was probably starting to get concerned over the state of his bathroom if he doesn’t get out of there ASAP. 

Finally building up the courage, Dan opened the door and was greeting with the sweet scent of pancakes. He strolled into the kitchen where Phil was attempting to flip a pancake in the air and caught it successfully. He threw his hand up in excitement as Dan began to clap, making Phil jump slightly. “Why thank you.” Phil said proudly. 

Dan laughed, “I’m not going to lie, I definitely thought you were going to fail epically.” Phil lowered his shoulders defeatedly.

“Gee, thanks, Dan.” Phil muttered. “So is the bathroom safe?” He joked and looked behind hi. He saw Dan’s wide eyes. “Please tell me you at least sprayed something when you were done?” Phil jokingly pushed Dan’s shoulder as he hurried by. He had rehearsed what he was going to say in order to ease the mood. “You hogged it so long I thought I was going to have to pee in the sink!” He yelled as he jogged into the bathroom. Dan just laughed to himself. How innocent Phil’s mind was. There he had been, losing his mind and here Phil is thinking he was shitting! Dan adored that tall little dork. 

Phil took advantage of the time he had to look over the room to make sure nothing seemed out of place. He washed his hands and returned to the kitchen. Dan was laying on the couch going through his phone. Phil walked over and kneeled next to him so they were face to face. Dan turned off his phone and looked over to Phil. He was about to say some smart-ass statement about the bathroom, but decided it wasn't the right moment. Phil leaned forward and moved the hair from Dan’s eyes. Dan squinted, he was insecure about his “too large” forehead. He felt slightly uncomfortable at the way Phil was staring at him with such kindness and tenderness in his eyes. He wasn’t used to it and cold feel his eyes tear up. He was the one to initiate the kiss. 

Phil breathed the kiss in, he wanted this. Every day he wanted Dan here with him. To protect him and make him know just how much he deserves to be loved. There will never be enough he can do for him that will be enough but he knew he’d never stop trying to be enough for him. He wanted to say all of this, but knew it was too soon. He just hoped that Dan could understand what he was trying to portray. 

Dan didn’t care for the kindness right now. He didn’t want to crack open in front of Phil. So he kept pulling at Phil to get closer, finally succeeding in getting Phil to get on the couch with him, practically on top of him. They laid like that, making out for almost 10 minutes. Just as Dan’s hands started to roam down, Phil pulled back and went to get up. Dan tried to make him stay, but Phil gave him a look. “Our breakfast is getting cold…” Phil whispered.

“Fuck breakfast, kiss me.” Dan said, reaching up for Phil who dodged and almost fell off the couch. Dan started to laugh as he sat up giving Phil his best flirty gaze. Phil stuttered a bit and pleaded his hard on to go away. He stood and awkwardly walked to the kitchen. 

“You’ll be saying that differently after you eat it!” Phil explained. 

Dan chuckled. “You know, out of context…” 

“Shut up!” Phil yelled. He strolled out of the kitchen with two plates all decked out. Dan’s eyes widened as he grabbed one of the plates. Phil smirked. Phil turned on a random morning show as they quietly ate. Phil sat close enough to touch thighs. Every once and a while they would make awkward eye contact and giggle. When they were done Dan leaned back on the couch. 

“You were right Phil.” He said. “I definitely don’t need you to make me cum anymore.” Phil pushed him and turned bright pink at the language as he got up and cleaned up the dishes. 

“I was thinking,” Phil yelled over the sound of the dishes. Dan decided to walk in so he didn’t have to keep yelling. “We could go into town… If you want. I could show you around?” Dan smiled brightly. 

“That sounds great, Phil.” Dan said, “Let’s do it!” It was Phil’s turn to smile as he went to pull Dan into a hug, but Dan wagged his finger, “Oh no. You had your chance, time to get ready.” He said jokingly as he turned to change. Phil just stood there and smiled. He deserved that. He took a deep breath in. _He’ll tell me._ He hoped. 

They took turns in the bathroom getting ready, sharing random moments of flirty eye contact and looks. Especially when Dan was trying to cover up the marks that Phil left behind. Right as they were about to leave Dan pulled Phil in close and whispered in his ear. “I’m going to make you pay for those marks you left on me, by the way.” 

Phil just smiled and asked, “Oh? How are you going to do that?” He said leaning in for another kiss. Dan reached one hand down and caressed Phil just enough to make Phil’s pupils grow before starting to walk away.

“Dunno Phil. How should I?” Dan asked slyly as he looked over his shoulder holding the door open. Phil glared up at him and smirked. This is going to be a long day...


End file.
